I’ve been having conversations with many different parents
about caring for their very sick child (you parents out there are amazing).
I’ve heard countless stories of adventures with hospital stays to
painstaking attention to detail about the medication that needs to be doled
out. The meticulous care you provide to children is, well, amazing isn’t quite the word to
describe you. You all do this in order
to guarantee that your kids’ well-being is ensured.
In listening to these skilled, knowledgeable, and informed parents,
I hear the details of their children’s procedures, the blood draws, the
painstaking steps they take in preparing their children for the little traumas that
they have to face daily because of their illnesses.
These aren’t things my parents had to worry about when I was growing
up. You do your research and can
probably recite the newest treatments that may, in some small yet beneficial
way, help your child. In this way, you
become a partner in the care of your ill child.
Which is great! High-five!
What I see, are loving, but weary parents. In some
cases, very, very, anxious and stressed parents. Some of the parents I interact with are
dealing with an illness that threatens their child’s life. From cancer, to severe allergies, or Type I
diabetes. The daily feats their children
face impact them, but parents suppress their feelings to stay strong for their
children. Also, they do so mostly to be able to function throughout the
day. How can you push down these
feelings without allowing them to have some effect on you? I say it comes leaking out. In an effort to ensure wellness, the ultimate
sacrifice is the parents’ emotional wellbeing.
What nuggets of insight do I have for you?,
1.
Be kind to yourself- Only you know your experience; I know the
pressure is strong from the outside world about what is deemed “correct” in
terms of parenting standards. There is a
strong message regarding how parents should and should not teach their children
and for me, it’s always important to know that each parent does things
differently. Be kind to yourself. If your child isn’t sleeping by themselves at
age 4, there is always time to retrain, especially if your child needs extra
soothing right now. Maybe this
different perspective needs to apply to you and your standards. Maybe you think you’re the only one dealing
with issue A, B, or C. In my experience,
there are challenges in every family and there is always a time to focus on
helping your child mature.
2.
Be kind to yourself #2- Can you spare 15
minutes? I always say that a 15 minute
nap does wonders to a tired soul. It may
be hard waking up, but the energy you gain from a short nap can help you
through a trying day. Can’t sleep? What about exercise, making yourself a
healthy snack, or taking the time to jot down your feelings to be able to let
them go? You’d be amazed how making an
honest intention can lift your spirit.
3.
Please allow us to help you.-There are so
many people, teachers, therapist’s, advocates, nurses, and even your good old
doctor who want to provide you with help.
Are there others out there that might also want to help, but maybe not
know how? There is nothing wrong with
you reaching out and letting them know.
4.
There is
always tomorrow: Did you have a bad day?
Did you react in a way that you may not have wanted? That’s ok.
Make an honest intention and plea to do better tomorrow. And then do it. Because I firmly believe that everyone is
trying to do their best, and if you didn’t get to, try again tomorrow. J
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